You'll stop being invited to parties

I thought about what G said to me in our last session all day today. Not actively thought about it, but it was in my head all day – repeating like a fucking broken record. “You’ll stop being invited to parties.” It was the one note I took during that session. “You’ll stop being invited to parties.” The session started out pretty normal – I sat at my dining table with my notebook and some water and told her about the inner child healing workshop I hosted a few weeks before and I had invited my Reiki healer who attended. I told her about the book(s) I had been reading. “The Celestine Prophecy” and “The Secret of Shambhala.” They inspired me to speak my truth. I realized I had been withholding my truth my whole life because of this belief I had that the truth hurts people. What other reason would people lie so much to others and themselves? That’s when G said “you’ll stop being invited to parties.” If I started speaking my truth to others I’d stop being invited to parties.  

When the words left her mouth I was like what in the actual fuck. Our sessions – oh, fuck – my thought was interrupted by another thought. Okay, so our sessions had become less and less helpful and I knew in my gut it was time to say goodbye, but as I’ve done with most things, I overstayed my welcome. So, when I started typing that the first time I thought oh, fuck, is that part of their protocol? To become obviously less helpful. The sessions leading up to my last had their own gems that were plenty obvious it was time to depart, but I held on. In one of the previous sessions I told G I had been raped when I was 23 and I shared it on social media and it was a huge weight lifted, it was a huge part of me accepted and seen, it received hurtful feedback from my dad and G’s response was she wasn’t surprised that I had been raped as it’s common. Then, she felt it a good time to mention her upcoming women’s retreat that was “pricey, but worth it” as if being raped gained me an invite to the party. Yet, I still held on. Then, in another of our last sessions the first words to leave her mouth when she saw me on her screen were “I wouldn’t go any shorter.” Referring to my hair. Which has gotten shorter.  

I started seeing G in May of 2023, a few months before I was served divorce papers and she helped me greatly before, during, and after my divorce. My last session with her was in January of this year.  

Had I spoken my truth to G – the truth that I observed in our last session, I would’ve told her I didn’t really get invited to parties and her projecting her hurt feelings because she wasn't invited to my workshop wasn’t helpful in a therapy way, but it was helpful in making my decision that it would be my last session.